


warm me up (and breathe me)

by MoonlightBreeze



Series: Whumptober 2020 [7]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: (very brief and mild), Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec Lightwood Feels, Alec Lightwood Loves Magnus Bane, Alec Lightwood Needs A Hug, Alec Lightwood-centric, Angst with a Happy Ending, Autistic Alec Lightwood, Domestic Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Light Angst, M/M, Major Character Injury, Whumptober 2020, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:28:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26922877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonlightBreeze/pseuds/MoonlightBreeze
Summary: After a rough mission, Alec seeks comfort at Magnus's doorstep rather than submit to the loud, overwhelming ruckus of Institute treatment. Magnus, of course, delivers splendidly.Whumptober 2020 prompt fic - SupportHappy ending!! (This is more comfort than hurt.)Warnings for brief and mild major character injury. Please keep yourselves safe! <3
Relationships: Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Whumptober 2020 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1950094
Comments: 14
Kudos: 250
Collections: Autistic Alec Lightwood





	warm me up (and breathe me)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! This is late (because I don't do schedules) but here it is! This is written for the Whumptober prompt: support. I didn't mean to write more Autistic Alec, but here we are. Warning for brief and mild major character injury! Please keep yourselves safe. <3
> 
> I really hope you like this!! Kudos make my day and comments validate my existence, so please feel free to leave those, if you want :) And as always, I hope you have a wonderful day/night!
> 
> ~ Em

Alec shivered and pulled his leather jacket tighter around himself. His exhales turned into little white clouds before his eyes for a few seconds, then evaporated into the air. It was a chilly January night, and Alec didn’t have any idea what he was _doing_. His nerves were frayed and the wound on his side was growing more and more painful with each second he stood in front of his boyfriend’s apartment, undecided. 

Alec knew he couldn’t go to Magnus every time he was injured on a mission; eventually, he would have to start letting the infirmary staff at the Institute treat him. But Magnus’s loft was so warm, and Magnus himself so gentle and comforting, and he so preferred the peaceful wash of cool blue magic to poking, prodding, unfamiliar hands at the infirmary that didn’t care enough to be conscious of his needs after a rough mission. 

Not everyone at the Institute understood Alec - in fact, most of them didn’t - but Magnus _did_ , and it was a priceless thing, that understanding. 

“Alexander, I know you’re out there,” Magnus’s amused voice rang out through the speaker. “Stop loitering in the hallway and come in.”

Alec blushed furiously and pushed the door inward, slipping into the loft that was quickly becoming like a second home to him. Magnus was waiting in the lobby with a drink in one hand and a shimmering ball of blue magic in the other. Alec almost smiled, recognising the action as the flirtatious endeavor that Magnus routinely employed when he came home in the evening. Alec secretly thought it was the best “Welcome home!” he had ever been privy to, and the fact that it was something he could count on made it even better.

When Magnus caught sight of Alec’s expression, however, he let the ball of magic extinguish itself and set his drink down on the kitchen island. He turned to face his boyfriend, his eyebrows drawn together with concern. “Alexander? Are you alright?”

Alec didn’t answer; he _couldn’t_. Magnus’s question, simple though it was, had somehow managed to render him ridiculously emotional. He swallowed hard and picked at the lint on his shirt sleeve, avoiding his boyfriend’s inquisitive gaze. Magnus’s frown deepened. Alec was usually okay with eye contact; it was a sign that something was wrong when he couldn’t make it at all. 

Alec’s lip trembled, and he bit down on it, hard. No, he wasn’t okay, but the fact that Magnus cared enough to ask was - well, sometimes Alec couldn’t quite wrap his head around it. 

Magnus, meanwhile, had fallen into ‘mother hen’ mode and reached for Alec, examining him with his magic. When he reached the demon wound on Alec’s right side, he shot his boyfriend an alarmed look. “N-No, it’s, it’s fine, Mags,” Alec tried to reassure him, but cool blue wisps of magic were already working to heal and soothe the torn skin. 

Alec exhaled shakily, a sigh of relief escaping his lips. Magnus’s magic was exactly what he needed to feel; the only thing he was okay with feeling at the moment. His pulse pounded in his ears, and he knew that his heart rate hadn’t slowed much since the demon’s attack a few hours ago. He couldn’t calm down. Intrinsically, he knew what that meant, which was why he’d found himself on Magnus’s doorstep in the first place. As much as he hated to admit it, Alec needed comfort. He needed familiarity. He needed _Magnus_. 

“What colour are you right now, Alexander?” Magnus asked conversationally, focusing his gaze on one of the many tapestries lining the apartment walls. Alec felt a rush of affection surge through him. Magnus was the only person he knew who had even _thought_ to make Alec feel less different for not looking at him by avoiding eye contact himself, let alone actually implementing it. By the Angel, he could not have gotten luckier. 

“Yellow,” Alec mumbled. His cheeks flamed with embarrassment, and he heard Magnus make a sound of disapproval. 

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Alexander,” he reassured Alec quietly. “Do you want your weighted blanket?”

Alec hesitated and then nodded. Pressure sounded fucking heavenly right now. 

“Go on in to the living room,” Magnus instructed his boyfriend, making a shooing motion with his hands. “I’ll get everything out.”

Alec made his way to the living room unsteadily, nearly tripping over a piece of furniture. His skin prickled like it was made of static electricity, and his head was pounding. He just wanted to sleep, but he couldn’t, because everything was too overwhelming, too confusing, too _much_. He dug his nails into the palm of his hand anxiously. He felt out of balance, overturned; the desperation to find a normal, or at least better, headspace again was beginning to overshadow his embarrassment at making Magnus take care of him like this. 

Suddenly, Alec felt a weight drop into his lap and he looked up, startled, to see Magnus standing over him with a large stuffed dog and a bowl full of steaming pasta. Alec stared at it doubtfully, and Magnus gave him a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, it’s just plain pasta.”

Satisfied with this explanation, Alec reached for the bowl. It was warm to the touch, and it soothed his restless fingers as he brought it down to rest on his lap over the weighted blanket. Next, Magnus tucked the dog underneath his arm and sat down in the chair opposite him. He made sure to look out at the balcony rather than directly at Alec, but Alec could feel that his boyfriend’s attention was on him, and it made a warm, pleasant feeling travel down his spine. 

It didn’t take long for Alec to finish the bowl of pasta; he hadn’t realised how hungry he’d been. Now that he thought about it, he wasn’t sure when the last time he ate was. Magnus, of course, seemed to realise this and plied his boyfriend with another bowl and a glass of water. By the end of that bowl and half of the glass of water, Alec was feeling significantly calmer and he sighed in relief, burying his face in the stuffed dog’s fur. 

The texture of plush on his cheeks made Alec blush at the ridiculous situation - he was the Head of the New York Institute, for fuck’s sake - but he couldn’t bring himself to stop holding the stuffed animal. It was _soft_. The fire in Magnus’s fireplace crackled, and it was refreshing to Alec’s ears. He swore he could still hear the screams of the demons as he, Izzy, and Jace laid siege to their nest. He inhaled deeply and breathed in the comforting scent of sandalwood, cat hair, and Italian cuisine that shrouded Magnus’s apartment. 

It smelled like safety. 

It smelled like _home_. 

“Alexander?” Magnus had moved closer, leaving enough space between them for Alec to speak to him without feeling crowded. “What colour are you right now?”

“Green,” Alec said, and he gave Magnus a genuine smile. It was the first one of the evening. 

“Good,” Magnus breathed, and he slid into Alec’s space without hesitation. Alec met him halfway, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend and trying to convey with a tight embrace how grateful he was to be dating someone so, so... _perfect_. So unlike anyone Alec had ever known. 

Magnus squeezed him back just as tight, placing a gentle kiss to his temple, and Alec exhaled with relief. The staticky, wrong feeling from before had receded just enough for Alec to feel tired again, and he burrowed into Magnus’s chest, hiding his face in the other man’s hoodie. 

Magnus reached up and soothed his fingers through Alec’s hair, humming a comforting tune that Alec recognised from hundreds of other nights exactly like this one. He smiled and pressed a soft, open-mouthed kiss to Magnus’s collarbone. It made Magnus smile, and Alec tilted his head up to brush his lips with Magnus’s. 

He still wasn’t convinced that his impromptu after-mission visits weren’t a burden or annoyance to Magnus, but he couldn’t deny that the other man helped in ways that no one else could. This, this peace, this warm feeling that was blooming in his chest, this was what love felt like. Of that he was confident.

**Author's Note:**

> [Stalk me on Tumblr](http://moonlight-breeze-44.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Prompts are open, but very slow! Thank you for your patience! <3
> 
> If you love Shadowhunters, chaos, and gaining new friends (or any combination of the three), I invite you to [join the Discord server](https://discord.gg/82pvdE39fD) I run with my friends! We're a multifandom server that caters to Shadowhunters, Supernatural, Marvel, and more. We welcome everyone, and we'd love to have you! <3


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